Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
