i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm always down for nudity.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
