Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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