new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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