dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
