The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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