Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
