He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
