i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
