i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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