so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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