I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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