I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
