Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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