And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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