He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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