I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
