His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
