hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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