thus making me awesome and them whores
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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