I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
