it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
