I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
