I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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