You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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