I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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