They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
