How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
