Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
