I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
