I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
