I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
