Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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