Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
