I only kidnapped one of them. chill
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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