Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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