So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
