I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
