so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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