Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv http://tfl.nu/8yma

Replies (17) Good night (4362) Bad night (764)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/9qb1

Replies (17) Good night (1085) Bad night (5977)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet http://tfl.nu/xsvu

Replies (22) Good night (1113) Bad night (6086)
Favorite
(856): View more from New Jersey

My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic? http://tfl.nu/h7hc

Replies (13) Good night (5782) Bad night (828)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

no. you cant fuck a burger.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house (1-215): no. you cant fuck a burger. http://tfl.nu/5325

Replies (9) Good night (2589) Bad night (1042)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen. http://tfl.nu/j56a

Replies (8) Good night (2729) Bad night (840)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.

(319): View more from Iowa

You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead. (319): You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you. http://tfl.nu/03d8

Replies (15) Good night (2338) Bad night (1168)
Favorite
(904): View more from Florida

I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x

Replies (4) Good night (1394) Bad night (479)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/uojr

Replies (8) Good night (1321) Bad night (469)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night. http://tfl.nu/mvw7

Replies (6) Good night (2620) Bad night (421)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2

Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (351)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties. http://tfl.nu/7t6a

Replies (9) Good night (1542) Bad night (319)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners. http://tfl.nu/yd21

Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (580)
Favorite
(618): View more from Illinois

It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(618): It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night http://tfl.nu/2or2

Replies (0) Good night (320) Bad night (229)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.

(615): View more from Tennessee

BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived. (615): BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW http://tfl.nu/97uu

Replies (4) Good night (370) Bad night (332)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: