Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk

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  (571): it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk http://tfl.nu/mdkh
  Replies (3) Good night (1246) Bad night (519)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

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  (239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y
  Replies (12) Good night (794) Bad night (2818)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

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  (330): mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM http://tfl.nu/ia9w
  Replies (27) Good night (8647) Bad night (876)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my vagina's been through so much this weekend

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

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  (860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r
  Replies (35) Good night (7736) Bad night (1097)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.

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  (786): hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night. http://tfl.nu/2z1d
  Replies (8) Good night (5045) Bad night (1520)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?

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  (609): why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures? http://tfl.nu/ty0v
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (1098)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!

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  (303): hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you! http://tfl.nu/45j7
  Replies (7) Good night (3578) Bad night (836)
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  (818): View more from California

  That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.

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  (818): That's the last time I do shots near a campfire. http://tfl.nu/w9sa
  Replies (3) Good night (1540) Bad night (1097)
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  (408): View more from California

  I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.

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  (408): I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/f5jy
  Replies (16) Good night (2717) Bad night (754)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick

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  (774): Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/t99o
  Replies (6) Good night (2343) Bad night (823)
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  (408): View more from California

  You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.

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  (408): You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you. http://tfl.nu/r2tt
  Replies (2) Good night (1490) Bad night (532)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

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  (516): Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN. http://tfl.nu/0bkl
  Replies (11) Good night (1403) Bad night (376)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila

  (716): View more from New York

  Step 4: your drunk

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  (716): Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila (716): Step 4: your drunk http://tfl.nu/kixe
  Replies (4) Good night (551) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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  (732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (260)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year

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  (954): I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year http://tfl.nu/gvu4
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (298)

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