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• (530): View more from California

  shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

  (1-530): View more from California

  just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

  (530): View more from California

  yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (213): View more from California

  You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Did you fuck him in my garden last night?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here

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• (323): View more from California

  You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...

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• (707): View more from California

  I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.

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