a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend