Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush

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  (859): I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush http://tfl.nu/5sx8
  Replies (33) Good night (902) Bad night (1816)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.

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  (515): So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial. http://tfl.nu/ftzk
  Replies (11) Good night (3157) Bad night (691)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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  (772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls http://tfl.nu/txmo
  Replies (58) Good night (2381) Bad night (7946)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

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  (918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk http://tfl.nu/q4ib
  Replies (14) Good night (4731) Bad night (677)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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  (360): whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind. http://tfl.nu/pllx
  Replies (24) Good night (5490) Bad night (775)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..

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  (503): I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus.. http://tfl.nu/6jqk
  Replies (12) Good night (1065) Bad night (3625)
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  (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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  (107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq
  Replies (8) Good night (1222) Bad night (925)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should have died. Natural selection.

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  (301): Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass (240): He should have died. Natural selection. http://tfl.nu/8itz
  Replies (13) Good night (2616) Bad night (735)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.

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  (919): It feels like one of my ribs evaporated. http://tfl.nu/v71y
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (810)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?

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  (765): google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY? http://tfl.nu/u2sp
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (474)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

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  (845): I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent. http://tfl.nu/v6g7
  Replies (9) Good night (365) Bad night (624)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?

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  (262): I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!? http://tfl.nu/rfa8
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (244)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.

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  (231): My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting. http://tfl.nu/ksju
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (265)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

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  (+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu
  Replies (6) Good night (1324) Bad night (227)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?

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  (651): Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you? http://tfl.nu/w903
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (211)

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