Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
  Replies (4) Good night (2983) Bad night (565)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  summer is not the time to consider going full bush.

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  (337): summer is not the time to consider going full bush. http://tfl.nu/4smx
  Replies (71) Good night (765) Bad night (3934)
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  (310): View more from California

  The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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  (310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp
  Replies (3) Good night (2506) Bad night (726)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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  (980): I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks http://tfl.nu/h8ue
  Replies (29) Good night (1024) Bad night (5012)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car

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  (978): Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car http://tfl.nu/2swm
  Replies (2) Good night (1009) Bad night (2447)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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  (920): did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve? http://tfl.nu/wzep
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (2894)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

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  (208): i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home. http://tfl.nu/7itp
  Replies (2) Good night (2216) Bad night (937)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

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  (215): while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back http://tfl.nu/nfcm
  Replies (7) Good night (3699) Bad night (932)
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  (707): View more from California

  He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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  (707): He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie. http://tfl.nu/yx94
  Replies (6) Good night (3057) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (3137) Bad night (1224)
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  (707): View more from California

  You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

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  (707): You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip" http://tfl.nu/cn9w
  Replies (6) Good night (3649) Bad night (1232)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?

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  (954): I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested? http://tfl.nu/lmn2
  Replies (9) Good night (559) Bad night (1634)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.

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  (740): Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer. http://tfl.nu/j7d4
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper

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  (417): I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper http://tfl.nu/pr2l
  Replies (1) Good night (152) Bad night (430)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"

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  (210): Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices" http://tfl.nu/vw0e
  Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (139)

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