Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

dude, you're being a jerk.

(919): View more from North Carolina

sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

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(970): View more from Colorado

Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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(213): View more from California

The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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(517): View more from Michigan

She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...

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(515): View more from Iowa

im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe

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