wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
