so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
