This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
