I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
