I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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