Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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