I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
