you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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