The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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