i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just gargled with NyQuil
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