So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
