At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
