she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
