I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
