He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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