i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
