im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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