Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
