sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
