so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
