Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I lost the right to judge tonight
Floor bacon is actually really good
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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