Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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