Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
