How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
