Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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