I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
