South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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