I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
