Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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