I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
