you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
